A Christmas Tale The Final Goodbye
by bluesybelge
Summary: Every year around Christmas Ironside attends a charity event. This year he's accompagnied by Katherine who has accepted to step in for Barbara who left him only months before and whom he never saw again until ...


_I need the dark winter days for my muse to be active. And I gladly leave crime and suspense to our unrivalled Kaleen. I leave it up to you Ironside fans, unconditional ones and occasional ones to decide if this genre can appeal to you. Feel free to criticise and even pull it to pieces if you don't like._

_I did not have it reviewed by my beta so please forgive me any mistakes made against the beautiful English language._

_**A Christmas tale.**_

_**The final goodbye.**_

"Good evening everybody!" Katherine called out enthusiastic as she entered the office and elegantly descended the ramp. She looked around and seemed genuinely surprised not to see the Chief. "Isn't Robert in? I'm supposed to meet him here

"He's still in there." Mark answered, with his thumb over his shoulder pointing towards the Chief's private quarter. "But please have a seat."

Instead Katherine started walking around, snooping. "No christmas tree. I'm surprised. I think everyone should put up a tree, big or small it really doesn't matter. It doesn't feel like Christmas without a tree. Don't you agree?"

Fran had walked up to where Katherine was standing and assessed the possibilities. "You're right. We should have one and … we could install it right there, between the windows." Fran wanted to get the others approval, "Well?... Mark? … Ed? Oh come on say something."

"You should know the Chief better than that Fran. He's not exactly one who attached much importance to traditions." Ed replied dryly.

"We don't tell and we get us a tree." Fran said resolute. " Now that I think of it I remember that there's a box with christmas balls and little light bulbs in the small depot near the elevator."

"Shall I bring the tree?" Katherine offered," That'll be my contribution."

"That's very kind of you but no. If we want it to be a surprise I should get the job done tonight while he's out."

"Good idea." Katherine nodded approving.

She looked at her watch as Ironside still hadn't come out of his room. "Well I guess it's me who's in advance but I thought we better get to that charity event in time so I can find a parking space nearby. It would be handy."

"Oh no need to worry about that," Fran reassured Katherine, "There's always a reserved place for the Chief's van. Mrs Delaney has seen to that ever since …"

"Ever since she contributed considerably in the city's acquisition of my vehicle. She hates to think her precious dollars might get bruised, scratched and ultimately wasted." the Chief 's voice thundered as he wheeled out of the bedroom, just in time to catch up on Fran's last words.

"Robert! You … you look … "

"Like a stuffed penguin."

Ed and Mark chuckled. Fran smiled as she observed Katherine and noticed she couldn't disguise her attraction to the Chief.

"Penguin! … more like what the little girl, I once was, dreamed her prince charming should look like. This tuxedo suits you to perfection." Katherine stepped closer and gently kissed him on the cheek.

Katherine's candor had truly thrown him of balance and he didn't reply. It had everybody stare at him in disbelief.

"Well! What you're all looking at? I didn't say anything wrong did I?" he snapped.

"Exactly! You didn't ... for a change." Mark joked.

"Admit it Chief you haven't used us to such a meaningful silence." Ed joined in.

"It never crossed your minds I'm just being polite by not replying to that rather ridiculous prince charming allusion. Now I said it."

"Ridiculous! Robert! I meant it." Katherine's reaction was one of genuine disappointment or so it seemed.

She was so convincing that the Chief's startled look and clumsy efforts to apologize only added to the others amusement. Ed had to turn around as he was trying hard not to snort with laughter, but his shaking shoulders betrayed him. Fran hit her face behind the documents she was about to file and Mark rapidly disappeared into the kitchen.

Katherine kept her serious a little longer but finally also gave in and laughed out loud, "Oh Robert, your expression it is simply priceless. Please forgive me but I just couldn't resist adding a little drama."

He looked at them all with a frown in his eyes. "What were you all thinking? You hadn't me fooled for a second."

"No, of course not. I never doubted that," Katherine admitted with a twinkle.

"Don't you think we should consider leaving? From what you told me about Mrs. Delaney I think she will already have expected you to be there. If you prefer we can take the van, so we may use that special parking spot. It's up to you."

"No need to, your car is fine. That'll do."

"Ed! Go home. Fran! I trust you to close up once those papers are properly filed and … Mark, no need to wait for me I don't know yet when I'll be back. Take the night off."

"But … are you sure?"

"I'll manage when I get back. Won't be the first time."

"Well thanks, Chief."

"Shall we?" Ironside invited Katherine.

"Good night all of you!" he greeted his staff, adding immediately, "Tomorrow! Eight sharp!"

"Enjoy!" Ed said and stuck up his hand as Katherine waved goodbye.

"Have a nice evening Chief!" Fran called out and added for Katherine's ears, "Try not to let Mrs. Delaney monopolize him."

"Not a chance!" Ironside came from the door.

* * *

The security guard at the big domain's entrance was about to turn Katherine's car away when he spotted the Chief in the passenger seat.

"Oh hello Chief! I almost didn't recognize you. I was expecting yo with the van."

"Hello Robby. How's the wife and the kids?"

"Fine, just fine Chief. Thanks for asking. Mrs. Delaney has expected you for some time now. She's already called up here a dozen times." Robby added with a meaningful nod. "Just drive through Miss. The Chief knows the way. Have a nice evening." He saluted.

There indeed was a reserved parking place for the Chief. The doorman came over to help Katherine unload the wheelchair from the trunk and give the Chief a hand with the transfer.

For a while Katherine stood admiring the building's façade. "Impressive."

"You like?" he asked amazed. "Brrrr. It gives me the creeps. I assure you that when you look at it sitting it has something … almost threatening. When I look up I always feel like the damned façade is gone collapse on me. Let's go inside." and he vigorously wheeled towards the entrance.

Katherine, still admiring the architecture, was amused by his apprehension and it was with a big smile on her face that she caught up on him just before they greeted the hostess Mrs. Delaney.

"Finally! " She threw open her arms, "There you are Bob," and embraced him. "You had me worried sick. I was already imagining another lunatic had managed to requisite all your attention and so ruin this once in a year special evening for us." she lamented with an innate sense of drama.

"No, Mrs Delaney. Rest assured. I had the word spread to all the culprits. Tonight Robert Ironside is off duty."

"Ha ha! Bob, funny, very funny. Ooh! It's so good to see you." and she again hugged him, "And please stop that Mrs. Delaney bull... It's Georgina to you" she meanwhile whispered.

Katherine stood by as an onlooker and suddenly remembered Fran's words: don't let Mrs. Delaney monopolize him.

"Hum, hum," Katherine tried.

Mrs. Delaney looked Katherine up and down, inquisitive. "Bob! Aren't you going to introduce us? Who's this ... charming madame ?" she asked with a little hint of envy.

He took Katherine's hand and gently pulled her closer. "This is Katherine DeNureve. ( ) Katherine! Meet my very dear old friend, Mrs. Delaney."

"DeNureve ... DeNureve. THE DeNureve?" Mrs. Delaney asked.

"I'm afraid so." Katherine replied amused.

"Mm. You sure know how to choose your lady friends, Bob."

"Of course I do, Mrs. Del... Georgina. You of all people should know that. Aren't you the best example of my indisputable good taste?"

"Charmer!" Mrs. Delaney replied flattered and threw Katherine an envious look.

Ironside noticed that more guests kept arriving and were waiting for Mrs. Delaney to greet them. She absolutely didn't seem in a hurry to resume her role as the hostess of the event.

"Georgina no matter how much I would like you to stay here with me I think you should go see your other distinguished guests." He beckoned her to come closer and whispered, "Don't forget some of them are very generous donator."

She straightened up and smiled, "Elegant way to get rid of me Bob. By the way, how about your contribution?" and she tended her hand.

Ironside grinned and reached into his inner pocket to retrieve an envelope. "On behalf of the entire police station. As always we trust you to use it for one of the many good causes that are near to your heart."

"Innumerable they are and we need much money. Thank you Bob. I'm grateful for every penny" and looking over her shoulder towards the crowded hall sighed, "Well ... I guess I better should go see my other guests."

The chief nodded, flashing a big smile.

"Just one minute. I'd like to give as well." Katherine got hold of her check book started writing out a check and handed it to Mrs. Delaney who looked at it and swallowed before inaudibly but understandably articulating "Holy s...!"

"I hope that will do?" Katherine said.

"This is most generous my dear, most generous." She looked at Ironside and counseled. "Bob! This woman is precious. You take good care of her. You hear me? Take good care of her." and then walked away light-footed, pressing Katherine's check against her heart.

"Seems like you've got yourself a new friend," Ironside said with a twinkle.

"Money opens many a door." Katherine laid her hand on his shoulder and as he looked up to her she asked. "Did she really say what I think?"

"Oh yes. Even if she didn't speak up that's exactly what she said and I guarantee you that you haven't heard anything yet. Georgina's life did not exactly go over roses. She's a fighter and one day long ago, luck crossed her path. I'll tell you another time if you're interested. For now I'd prefer we go see if we can find ourselves something to drink?"

"Good idea Robert and ... I will let you do the presentations. Shall we?" she invited him to precede her.

It was only a little over midnight when Katherine drove back into the police garage and parked near the elevator. She helped Ironside out of the car, as if she had done it all her life.

"I admit I met some interesting people Robert. But most important ... I absolutely enjoyed your company."

"Normally this is where I should invite you for a last drink, but I know you have a very important appointment tomorrow morning. So I'm not really sure this is a convenient moment."

"Mmmmm…" Katherine clearly hesitated, "It's tempting, I admit, but didn't you also have a meeting scheduled? If I'm not mistaken you said something about the town council. Am I correct?"

He looked at her admiringly, "Excellent memory. One point for you. I guess that means we say goodbye here?

" Yes. I better go home. Robert, thank you for having invited me. I love your company and ... I really hope there will be other occasions. " Katherine leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"Goodnight. Be careful." he watched her get into her car.

"Can I call you tomorrow?" Katherine asked through the open window, passenger side.

"Of course. That would be nice."

She threw him a final hand kiss and drove off.

Ironside sighed as he turned his chair and started for the elevator. While he awaited it coming down he loosened his bow. He hoped Mark wasn't in for he somehow wanted to be alone. It struck him that no matter how he appreciated Katherine another woman was still very much on his mind.

In fact she should have been at his side tonight. "Why Barbara? Where are you?" he heard himself ask.

* * *

The office lay peaceful. The full moon let her soft tone light penetrate deep into the habitation. Ironside loved it as it had something almost magical about it.

Having moved about this floor for years he knew by heart every curve, every edge, every obstacle. No need to switch on the light.

He eased his wheelchair down the ramp and continued towards his favorite window. Consumed by his thoughts he didn't notice the beautiful decorated Christmas tree. Nor did he pay any attention to it when minutes later he headed for the bedroom.

All of a sudden he felt tired. Mentally, physically. Must be the time of the year, he reasoned. Laboriously he worked himself out of his clothes and into bed and rapidly fell asleep.

A strange sound woke him as did an enormous thirst. He listened attentively. Nothing. Everything was quiet.

Automatically he reached for the glass of water Mark had always ready for him on the night table. Nothing there. Damned! I forgot. No Bob you are not going to give in, he said to himself as he didn't feel like already again going through the rigors of lifting himself into that wheelchair. He closed his eyes and tried to fetch sleep again.

Hardly twenty minutes later the Chief wheeled up to the sink in the kitchen and filled a large glass with nice cold water; up to the ridge. He drank it up completely. "aaahhhh … that's better," he sighed.

There it was again... He pricked up his ears. There. A feeble noise caught his attention.

"Mark! … Is that you?" he called out while he moved his chair backwards so he could take a better look at the rest of the office.

No answer came. That's when he noticed a strange glow coming from the wall near the furthest window. What the heck?

"I know someone 's there. Show yourself" he ordered as he started wheeling towards the dim light.

"It's me Bob. I didn't want to wake you or frighten you," a female silhouette said, as she stepped away from the lightened Christmas tree.

"Barbara! Is that... you?"

"Yes Bob. Sorry I woke you."

"But... what are you doing here in the middle of the night? Why this secrecy? How did you get in? And … I thought you were in New York with the girls? At least that's what you wrote in your last short letter," and pointing towards the attractive illuminated tree, "Did you put that here?"

"So many questions Bob. Aren't you just glad to see me?"

"Glad?" he exclaimed, "I'm delighted." Ironside softly admitted and moved closer. "Tell me you've changed your mind about us. Tell me you've come to let me know you want to give us another chance."

"I'm afraid not Bob. I wish I could but ... I can't live like that. I see a sword of Damocles constantly hovering over you. It's turning me into a nervous wreck. It's making me sick. I'm not that strong. I thought I was ... and I am not," she admitted as she knelt beside his chair and pressed her cheek against the back of his hand. "And after what happened to me when that Canadian lunatic tried to blow up the entire city..."

"Sssssshhhh, Barbara. Please … forgive me. It was my mistake. I tremendously failed there. I should have made sure you were constantly protected," he bent down towards her and kissed her hand. "I promise you nothing of …."

"Don't promise," Barbara interrupted. "You're only human, you can't control everything Bob. Be realistic. Admit it. So many things can happen that are simply beyond your control." She looked him in the eyes but the passion in her look was missing. That much he could tell.

Nevertheless she continued, "I love you and I miss you more than I can say but …" her voice trailed off, "I also have become to think that we both allowed ourselves to be trapped and misguided by feelings based on false ground."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ironside straightened up and looked at her, not understanding. "Explain!"

"Alright. But let me finish before you say something."

He nodded.

"I fell in love with you in that hospital because witnessing you struggle thought me that nothing is impossible. At a moment that I was immensely vulnerable you came into my live and were the example to follow. My hero, so to speak." Barbara smiled at him.

"**I** know ...** I** love you." Ironside replied vehement, "Love ... Unconditional love Barbara."

"I do not doubt that." she replied squeezing his hand, "But has it never occurred to you that maybe just maybe, you feel safe with me because having nursed you I know you better than anyone else. I know about your problems, about your pain. I know what you still can and ... what you can't. The fight you have to put up on and on to prove you're as good as anyone. All that and more .. I'm sure that in one way or another,unconsciously, it made you feel more at ease with me." All the time she observed him attentively and it surprised her that he remained silent. "Don't you say anything?"

He didn't believe what he heard. Was this his Barbara? Was this the woman he so much-loved?

He replied cold, almost emotionless. "I assume it plainly that I am a cripple. And nothing and no one is going to stop me to try to live a full life. The fact that you think you know more about me than anyone else is of absolutely no importance here. It never had anything to do with what **I** feel for you. And you now telling me all those things only enhances the weird impression I … I already more than once had. The feeling that you stayed with me out of pity."

"No! Bob, no... no... no!" Barbara cried out, "Oh God nooooo That's not what I meant. Please … believe me," she pleaded with him as tears started rolling down her cheeks. "No my love. ... oh... I can see I hurt you. That's not what I wanted. Forgive me, forgive me."

She got on her feet, visibly lost and confused by a reaction she hadn't anticipated. "It was a mistake. I shouldn't have come. I'm only making it worse while I only wanted to make things clear." She felt helpless and wanted to make up trying to embrace him, hold him tight and comfort him.

"No!" He shouted and backed away from her. "Don't! You just made it perfectly clear. Yes Barbara it hurts to discover that all those months we've spent together haven't taught you better." he turned his back on her. "I don't recognize you." he sighed.

"Bob! Please! I knew I took a risk. But we can stay friends." she tried.

"Friends!" his voice thundered through the office. "Have we ever been more than friends Barbara? After what I just heard, I doubt it."

"Stop! Stop it!" she pleaded.

Ironside swung his chair violently back so he could face her. "If it was to tell me al this that you sort of sneak in here at this hour, almost like a thief in the night, you could have spared yourself the trouble. And who let you in? I'm sure I locked the door."

"I discovered I still had the key to the office." she mumbled without looking at him. The silence that followed seemed endless and became unbearable.

Nothing she could say now would undo the grief she just caused him. All she wanted now was to get out of there.

"I …, uh … we, I mean the girls and I we take the first plane to New York for the holi..."

"Then I suggest you leave," he snapped, "I don't want you to miss your plane."

Just for an instant she dared look into his blue eyes. His gaze almost frightened her. Nothing was left of those otherwise so tender, warm, loving blue eyes. The stare was ice blue, like a frozen pool.

"Goodbye, Bob. You'll always keep that special place in my heart."

"The key please." He stuck out his hand.

Barbara clenched it for a few seconds with her left hand and before handing it back to her forever lost love kissed the key. She picked up her handbag that lay on the ground next to the Christmas tree, bit her lips not to burst in tears and walked away without looking back.

Ironside sat there staring at that key and finally threw it violently across the room.

How could it have come this far? Had he been blind all the time. She had never loved him, not really, really loved or she would never have suggested the things she said tonight.

Never since the day someone told him he was never going to walk again did he feel so damned helpless, so frustrated, so psychologically annihilated.

As on automatic pilot he wheeled to the kitchen where he got hold of the bottle of whiskey and started drinking from it. The clock stroke two. Ironside just sat there, shattered, all stooped over staring at the ground, and emptied the bottle.

* * *

"Good morning everyone!" Fran cheerfully called out to her habit, as she entered the office.

"Morning Fran!" Ed and Mark replied motioning her to talk less loud.

"Coffee?" Mark asked even though he was already pouring her a cup.

"Is the Chief still asleep? But he was to meet with the mayor and the city council at ten." Fran almost whispered.

Mark shook his head, "It's been canceled Fran. I had the mayor's secretary on the line. It's been postponed for the mayor called in sick. So I thought I as well let the Chief sleep."

"I hope he had a good evening. It's a good thing he has met Katherine. She's just what he needs if you ask me." Fran declared with a little smile.

"I wouldn't bet on that too soon."

"Why not Mark? Don't you like Katherine? Maybe something you know that we don't?"

"This." Mark held up high the empty Whiskey bottle. "He emptied it tonight."

"Are you sure?" Ed asked a little worried. "He loves a drink but it's been ages since he did that."

"Exactly Ed. I guess we'll have to wait un ..."

"MARK! MARK!"

"His masters voice calling." Mark said and he hurried over to his bosses bedroom.

"I wonder what happened? I suddenly have a strange feeling." Fran shuddered.

"We'll find out soon enough … or we never will" Ed answered shrugging his shoulders." You know how he is."

"Why didn't you wake me as usual?" Ironside, annoyed, reproached Mark as they came out of the bedroom.

"Because I already told you that they cancelled the meeting. Can-cel-led! You know what that means?" Mark insisted.

"Don't shout! Aauu! My head ... Strange. I can't remember drinking that much yesterday evening."

"Good morning Chief!"

Ironside simply replied by sticking up his hand. He had a splitting headache.

"Did Mrs. Delaney give you a hard time?" Ed asked slightly amused.

"Don't know, Ed. Don't even remember what time we got back. All I know is that it's pounding in my head and that I had a terrible dream. No... rather a nightmare."

"Here, drink up … that'll do you good." Mark posed a cup of steaming, strong, dark coffee in front of him

From the other side of the office Fran asked "Chief! Do you like the Christmas tree ? It was Katherine's idea and I thought I surprise you by having it ready by the time you got home."

"Christmas tree? What Christmas tree?"

"Oh come on Chief ... well … this one here. Oh … you must have seen it for Mark said the lights were on when he came in this morning."

"You must have forgotten you left them on when you went home Fran," Ironside answered hesitantly.

"No I did not." Fran stated, "I even left you a note saying I didn't trust it to leave the tree lights on when nobody was in. It's on the table. There in front of you. I can see it from here."

An uneasy feeling began taking possession of him as he indeed saw the note on the table. His head, his head. Why couldn't he remember?

Ironside forced himself to go have a look at a Christmas tree he was sure he had only dreamt about.

"Well? Isn't it a beauty?" Fran proudly asked.

It was the tree of his dreams. His head felt like it was going to explode and his heart bolted. He needed air and undid his tie while taking deep breaths.

"Chief? Are you feeling alright? Chief? Can I get you something?" Fran asked alarmed.

"I'm alright Fran. It's that headache. It'll pass." he said with an unusual sad voice.

"You're sure?" Fran asked concerned putting her hand on his shoulder.

Ironside nodded and petted her hand. "Your tree is beautiful Fran. But please I'd like you to leave me alone for a while." and he slowly wheeled up to the window.

Not understanding Fran joined Ed and Mark who had watched from a distance. The three of them sat silently around the table wondering what could have happened to leave their friend so visibly devastated.

Ironside sat there silent. He still couldn't believe that he hadn't dreamt.

Reflected in the window were the colored little lightbulbs from the tree. It was hypnotizing and for a second he thought he saw Barbara's reflection, waving at him. It was so real he was about to wave back. But then she was gone and Ironside wiped away a tear.

_The End._


End file.
